Excerpts from funeral ceremonies
To quote that wisest of philospohers, Winnie the Pooh, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”.
And saying goodbye is hard. It is that unique, and often painful, opportunity to capture the essence of those who have left us, and to express clearly the love of those who remain.
Below are excerpts from a few of my funeral ceremonies. I do hope they show how using the right words can bring comfort and reassurance, how they can celebrate a life while mourning its passing.
Elsie
Elsie was a long-term resident of a dementia care home, and her carers knew little about her previous life. Until, that is, a memento box was found in her room...
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"What lay within allowed Elsie's story, hitherto snippets of information devoid of emotion, to burst into glorious, colourful life once more. And what a story it turned out to be...
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...When you are reminded of Elsie in the future, make sure it’s the happy Elsie, cavorting and partying around Paris, champagne in hand, that you remember...
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Elsie. You have been freed from the suffering of illness, and we say au revoir and bon voyage to you as you pass into calmer, kinder waters. We hope you are once more on a Parisian catwalk, being feted for your creative genius, before heading off to drink champagne beside the Seine".
Abby
Abby was a young and highly talented equestrian, killed in a tragic accident.
Her funeral service was held at the stables, and attended by her favourite horse, Monty.
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"We are drawing near to the end of this celebration of Abby. Her family and close friends will shortly accompany her as she commences her last, sad journey. That journey’s end will be on the mountains of Wales, around the family’s Brecon retreat, where Abby’s ashes will fly with the wind, free and unbridled for ever.
Before that moment, you are all invited to gather together around her - as you did in life - and say a few private words to her. Reassure her. Make sure she knows you are with her right now. Or maybe pass her a message through Monty, Abby’s spirit animal and keeper of whispered secrets.".
Brian
Brian had an amazing and varied story, including time in a chart topping pop band or drawing cartoons for a national newspaper. He was also a friend.
The clip below is from his funeral ceremony.
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"He was, in his flights of fancy, a six-shooting cowboy or decorated Spitfire ace. In reality he was a fan of rugby and cricket hater of soccer.
He was the teller of terrible puns, and firm believer that if an anecdote was funny, it needn’t be shortened and could be trotted out for endless repeats.
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Somehow I just know that Brian wouldn’t have wanted a supporting role here today. He’d really have wanted to be up here running the show, entertaining us and just being himself".
